A Handjob Because of the Tooth Fairy

Here is a candid picture of me taken while I was getting ready. We call the pink things on my head “bigoudis” :) I’m sure you didn’t know this about me, but I love those and wouldn’t live without them!!! Ho, but I don’t go to bed with the rolls on my head, come on!

Are you ready yet

And the end result is:

2 more samples here

I hope you understand that this week’s update is a hand job… I still have trouble eating solid food, I feel like bitting into an apple, and can’t stand the purrée anymore!!!

My new apartment - A to your Q!

Thanks so much for you lovely comments!

A nice thing to do when you move is to pay some guys to move the furniture. With a friend, my dad and Mike, we moved the rest - boxes, computers, small stuff. It took the 2 guys 3 hours @ 65$ and we gave them a nice tip so it costed us 240$. It is worth every dollar…

Still doing some cleaning, but not enjoying it very much. I would much prefer to start decorating, painting and all.

The apartment is a 4 1/2 on the lease but the basement has 3 other “rooms”, a mini workshop, a small room to put all the clutter you don’t want to see and a laundry room. It’s the biggest apartment I have ever had for the ridiculous price of 510$ per month. Oh and I have the backyard to where I’ll be able to grow vegetables :D.

510 / month is because we live in a “lower class” part of Montreal. I did not want to make this assumption / comment about the place, but it’s unfortunately the truth.

Today, I want to shoot… but I cannot give a blow job because I had a tooth remove yesterday - in the back of my mouth, I don’t have a hole in my smile lol. Surprisingly, it doesn’t really hurt, just a tingle when I make a big smile and LMAO :D. Now I’ll have a hole in my mouth for at least 2 months because it needs to heal before I can get a “new” tooth. And that will cost as much as breast implants… for 1 tooth. 3800,00$!!!!!! I guess I might start raising found for that tooth lol To my dentist didn’t gave it back to me, I could have had a starter with the Tooth Fairy :)

So… I’ve been thinking I could make an exception on The Art of Blowjob and give a nice handjob instead… It’s weird because when I woke up this morning, I clearly remembered I was doing an awesome blowjob with deep throating and all the kit. Ha… next week will be back to normal.

I have Internet

After a week, I’m almost all set in my new apartment. There was a lot of scrubbing involved and darn, the ex-locators left me with a huge pile of junk and garbage in the backyard, GRRR!!!

Hope you didn’t forget me and that you had a nice week. I’ll be posting some picture of my new place. It’s still pretty ugly, but much bigger then the previous place and most important, it doesn’t make me sick with the mold.

First Web Server
The NeXT Computer used by Tim Berners-Lee at CERN became the world’s first web server! :D xox

Now that I have internet I feel alive again. It’s so weird how we get used to it. I’m not an addict and still I found myself missing it for all the little things that it helps with. How do you prepare meals without internet, who answers your craziest question when internet is gone. I cannot imagine the world without it and much less how the heck did I manage to survive without it before 1996 ??????

Hey! I missed you and thought of you a lot!

Trick or Treat?

Happy Halloween!
Just post-processed this texturized photo of Mike with some rubberus foreheadus make-up. Hope he’ll come back home with a Klingon forehead someday…

This is Halloween!

Get scared and scream a lot!

I’m Moving On November 1st

I’m moving into a bigger place saturday and in the past weeks I’ve been digging into our stuff, so much that I have found an astonishing amount of unnecessary things. I’ve been giving them to the community trying not to have any feelings about the stuff. One of those was a set of distinguish coffee cups with the milk jar, the sucrier and the coffee pot my mom gave me, that was given to her by her mom that was given to her by … well it was a generation thing, and I hated it. I don’t even drink coffee, it makes me feel mushy. I hate things.

Valerie Lewis\' coffee set
The coffee set was used on April 20th 2007 as props for a photo set. Now they are in someone else’s kitchen.

Maybe I took Fight Club to seriously and if everyone was like me, Chanel, Gucci and all those big brand names and the smaller one and the car company would go bankrupt because I don’t buy stuff I don’t need - and I really mean that.

You’re surprised? My favorite blog is http://earlyretirementextreme.com/. I don’t dream about glamour and palaces, I dream about a perfect earth where everyone would eat, drink, contribute, create, love and respect. As a little girl, I wanted to be a clown. I would make people laugh because they looked so tormented and sad.

Talk to you soon. Maybe after I’ve moved, but I don’t know if I’ll have internet right away. A friend should bring an antenna so we can “borrow” some bandwidth from our neighborhood.

Nature is Pervert

Weather or not these photographs are photoshoped, it doesn’t really matter, they are all very funny. Some, you may have already seen, even here, some are totally new. It is a great compilation never the less.

Naughty by Nature

Naughty by Nature

To Bad it Has to Rot

Predator Pumpkin

I have something to confess. There are some characters in the movies and TV industries that I find very sexually charged. Like the Predator and Worf… Then again, I can fantasize all I want, even if I know I would not sustain the intensity of their brutal sexual energy :D

Via

Textured Porn

Valerie Lewis
It’s no secret that I’m the post-producer of my own pictures. I’m also the model. But that you already knew. I’m also my own webmaster, my own programer, my own marketing team and my own boss. And I like it like that.

I’ve been hopping to do images with textures like those of the wonderful and talented Quizz on Flickr. Tho I may have exagerated a little bit, I still like the result and especially considering the subject!

I was afraid to post this on my flickr. First, because I’ve never posted something like this, my work has been mostly commercial, and second because I feel I’ve “copied” the masters of flickr…

But you got to “copy” first when you’re an apprentice, so that is a good excuse :D

Now to say that I’ll be doing photoshops like this for dolorem or taobj is a big promise. It does take a while to process pictures like those and maybe the best thing would be to have an “artistic” section on the sites.

I’m still in the process of deciding so any comments, good or not would be appreciated!

Steve, we love the MacBook but…

we would love a matte display.

A good virtual friend of mine ask (nicely) that I’d share the link for the petition to Apple asking for a matte display. So you can sign here (I have signed it because it’s already a problem with our iMac and we planned to buy a MacBook but…).

There’s 2425 signatures total so far. Add yours and tell your friends!

Roundup and Link Love ~ Harper’s Edition

Prime Minister of Canada
Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada

I just want to say this: it’s scary to have someone like Harper being the prime minister of my beautiful country. Sorry if his photo turn you off. Do you want me to change it?

Let’s try not to think about it any longer. Here are some fun lovely links I wanted to share with you:

How long is your penis? @ Sexoteric Blog.
Choose your favorite condom flavor and show off how long you are to your sweet honey pie!
HOWTO: Fake an orgasm @ Tiny Nibbles.
Violet loves Bo Logan and I have to admit he’s something! But what is really fun is the video that shows us girly how to fake the orgasm.
Deep Throat vs. Working The Tip @ The Daily Spank.
Mr. Pheeler says there’s nothing “more powerful and hot as seeing Catapult* completely disappear into a girl’s wet mouth and then reappear, safe (hopefully) and glistening”.